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Dealing with Difficult People
Difficult people are everywhere. They may be hostile
customers, unprofessional coworkers, unsupportive supervisors in the
workplace or simply annoying and oversensitive friends or family; but,
we all have to deal with them at times.
In Coping with Difficult People,
Robert M. Bramson, PhD, groups difficult people into the following
categories:
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Hostile-Aggressives
bully and overwhelm others with cutting remarks or
tantrums when they don’t get their way.
Complainers
gripe constantly, but never do anything about their grievances because
they feel powerless or they refuse to take responsibility.
Silent, unresponsive people respond to every question and
plea for help with a “yep,” “no,” or a “grunt” making it difficult to
know where they stand.
Super-Agreeables
are personable, funny, and outgoing but not always
genuine. They’re sincere and supportive when they’re around you, but may
not follow through with promised actions when you’re gone.
Negativists
answer any proposal with “It won’t work” or “It’s impossible,” deflating
others’ optimism.
Know-It-All Experts
are the “superior” people who believe that they know
everything there is to know about anything worth knowing and want you to
recognize it too! They’re condescending, imposing and pompous.
Indecisives
stall major decisions until someone else decides for them. They’re
perfectionists and can’t tolerate unfinished projects.
They may not do it consciously, but difficult people
manage to gain control over others through their behavior. However, you
can readjust the balance of power and minimize their impact if you …
• Assess the situation. Determine whether you are dealing
with a chronically difficult person or whether a bad situation is
temporarily bringing out the worst in an ordinarily amiable person.
• Stop wishing the difficult person was different.
Unrealistic hopes quickly become resentment; you can’t change other
people.
• Get some distance between you and the difficult person.
Try to detach yourself from the situation enough to gain a better
perspective on what’s causing the problem behavior.
• Formulate a plan. Interrupt the difficult interaction
by changing your part of it. Changing how you react to difficult people
gives them a chance to take a different role.
• Implement your plan whether the time is right. For
example, if you pick a time when your boss is busy and under a lot of
stress, your plan may backfire.
Coping with difficult people is not easy, but with
• an understanding of your own feelings
• a vision of success, and
• persistence
you can have better relations with them.
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Council 57
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